Gisele: Before you have children, you have got to make sure youve got a great man

As we all know, Gisele thinks all of you mothers out there suck. You ladies blow. Hard. Says Gisele. You’re not breastfeeding in the correct Gisele-approved way, you’re not potty-training your baby at 6 months old, the way Gisele did, and of course, you’re fat. You shouldn’t treat your body like a garbage disposal, fatty. Especially when you’re pregnant. Oh, and you should definitely give birth naturally, because you suck if you don’t. Now, if Gisele had just said “this is my opinion, this is how I plan to be pregnant, this is my experience” that would be one thing. But Gisele is a strident, sanctimonious bitch, and she loves to use her own experiences with pregnancy and motherhood to deign to tell other women how they MUST experience it. And now not only does Gisele deign to tell us how we must experience motherhood, she’s now getting into the procreation orders. We must not get pregnant unless “you have got to make sure you’ve got a great man. You can’t settle for less . . . someone you love, and someone who has the same beliefs.” F-ck you, single mothers. Oh, and f-ck you too Bridget Moynahan.

Gisele Bundchen says she loves being a mother — and advises other women to wait for the right man before starting a family. The supermodel — married to Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, with whom she has 9-month-old Benjamin — told us: “My son is so beautiful, I love him so much. But before you have children, you have got to make sure you’ve got a great man. You can’t settle for less . . . someone you love, and someone who has the same beliefs.”

After presenting awards to those helping to preserve the planet at Monday’s Important Dinner for Women hosted by Wendi Murdoch, Queen Rania of Jordan and Indra Nooyi, Gisele — a UN Ambassador to protect environmental biodiversity — said: “I love being a mother . . . it is challenging. It is different when everything is not about you and your life — now there is someone much more important. It takes some adjusting . . . But it is so, so wonderful.”

[From Page Six]

Granted, I get what Gisele is saying, just as I’ve understand her various sanctimonious points in previous “Jesus, Gisele” posts. I really don’t think Gisele means to come across so stridently and with every word dripping in sanctimonious judgment, but she does comes across that way ALL THE TIME. In this interview, I think she was just trying to praise/brag about Tom Brady and how awesome he is to her and how she couldn’t do it without him. Instead, I heard “Haha, all of you bitches have to settle with some balding douche while I get Tom Brady as my baby-daddy! Why do you even want to have a baby? You’re so fat.” And I also think it was directed at Bridget. Because I’m fun.

Gisele at a UN event on Sept. 20, 2010. Credit: WENN.

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